J-OY-sey Shore.

Thanks to Karol P in Brooklyn for this find!

Welcome to the Dollhouse.

(Source: redbubble.com)

For your Catholic Grandma, or your podiatrist.

(Source: redbubble.com)

In honor of the long-winded conclusion of this story 

(Source: etsy.com)

This card is happy to spotlight your misfortune and package it in a nice sparkly treatment. So much for a nice, subtle “Get well soon!”

“May your birthday be as up-and-down and depressing as the stock market these days”

(Source: hammond.com)

For those new pals you meet in the retirement home, and will likely only know for a few months.

(Source: heartfeltgreetings.com)

“Heartfelt” is the last word that comes to mind when I see this card.

(Source: heartfeltgreetings.com)

You know that grandparent who always sent you money for your birthday? And as you expectantly opened the envelope, you’d think “maybe it’ll be enough to actually BUY something with this year”, and then it maxed out at 20$ on your 15th birthday? Yeah.

(Source: hammond.com)

Either this is a typo, or this is the PERFECT card to send my friends trying to overcome some narcotics issues.

(Source: heartfeltgreetings.com)

Terrible Card, Terrible Placement.

Best Christmas Card ever!

(Source: etsy.com)

I’m sending this to every one of my pregnant friends. And to the ones who aren’t.

(Source: img1-ec.etsystatic.com)

Translation: Thank you for lending me money when I had that problem paying for my car repairs after my 5-year problem with binge drinking.

(Source: birthdaychoice.net)